My internship ends on Friday, I’m moving back to small-town Ontario on Saturday, my fabulous — albeit short — time in the city has drawn to a close, and I’m resigned to my fate.
I’m not allowing myself to feel stressed out and depressed by the fact that I’m 24 (shhhhh–don’t tell anyone) and returning to the nest yet again. I’m trying not to get too frustrated by the job search process and being in this weird position of having a university degree and some experience, but not enough to land me the kind of job I want.
I had hoped that by the end of the internship I’d have something secured in the city and be able to live here independently (you know, with the cool neighbourhood, the pet, the apartment with exposed brick), but things don’t always work out the way you plan. As my boyfriend always says, “If you want to make God laugh, make plans.” Or something along those lines. I’ve been very lucky thus far with two internships (one paid, one unpaid, but both providing amazing experiences) and a full-time summer job as a reporter for the local paper, straight out of university. I know that not many people get those chances, and I’m very grateful for them. I’m also prepared to work hard and not expect a job to just be handed to me, if that’s what it takes to achieve your dreams.
I’m remembering to keep calm and carry on.
I’m sad to leave the city I love, the hustle and bustle and busyness and excitement, the convenience of the TTC, the cool places to shop, eat, and hang out, seeing my boyfriend every weekend, and the friends. In the small-town, the transportation situation is what you would expect of a small-town, there’s one cafe, a couple dive bars, and no one between the ages of 21-30 that isn’t married or knocked up (or both?) And it’s 120 minutes away from my boyfriend, which isn’t that far but still too far for me!
At the same time, I’ll be moving home on the 19th — a week before Christmas. I’m excited to sit by the Christmas tree with my dog, feeling merry and bright and relaxed. I’m excited to be with my family and see my baby nephew more often. I’m excited to sleep in my comfy Queen-sized bed and enjoy quiet times in my own room with all my books and things.
But I’m especially excited for Christmas. In the past few years, the hindrance of semester-end essays and exams, in addition to deaths in the family, drastically delayed when I felt the “Christmas spirit,” if at all. This year, I’ve been feeling Christmassy since mid-November and have been listening to Christmas music nonstop for the last three weeks.
I may not know what the future holds, but I’m learning to enjoy every little moment in between and be thankful for every circumstance.
Every wall is a door — Ralph Waldo Emerson