Advice from a Dear Friend

I’ve discovered there’s a beauty in my spirit only released when I write. Even if I’m the only one to glimpse that glory, it’s something worth releasing. You have that same beauty. Set aside the doubt’s and embrace the truth – you are a writer and writers write — my friend Miss Eves

photo courtesy of google image search

photo courtesy of google image search

Love in Nuances

Will Ferrell and Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Stranger than Fiction" (2006)

As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren’t any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true

— from Stranger than Fiction (2006)

 

Paperbag Princess

the beauty of the story

I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren’t pretty, or smart, or young. They’re still princesses. All of us. Didn’t your father ever tell you that? Didn’t he?   — from “A Little Princess” (1995)

cherish me as much as I cherish you

We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be felt; beauty that affects others; a beauty all our own to unveil […]

There is an emotional promiscuity we’ve noticed among many good young men and women. The young man understands something of the journey of the heart. He wants to talk, to “share the journey.” The woman is grateful to be pursued, she opens up. They share the intimacies of their lives – their wounds, their walks with God. But he never commits. He enjoys her … then leaves. And she wonders, What did I do wrong? She failed to see his passivity. He really did not ever commit or offer assurances that he would. Like Willoughby to Marianne in Sense and Sensibility.

Be careful you do not offer too much of yourself to a man until you have good, solid evidence that he is a strong man willing to commit. Look at his track record with other women. Is there anything to be concerned about there? If so, bring it up. Also, does he have any close male friends – and what are they like as men? Can he hold down a job? Is he walking with God in a real and intimate way? Is he facing the wounds of his own life, and is he also demonstrating a desire to repent of Adam’s passivity and/or violence? Is he headed somewhere with his life? A lot of questions, but your heart is a treasure, and we want you to offer it only to a man who is worthy and ready to handle it well.                                                                                                                   –from Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge

A Pearl of Wisdom

pearls are a girl's best friend

 I admit it’s tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we’ve been dealt, and accessorize what we’ve got

–Carrie Bradshaw

I Want My Life to be Like an 80s movie

"in your eyes ..."

Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no … John Hughes did not direct my life

–from Easy A (2010)

 

Beauty of Love

“there is a design, an alignment, a cry of my heart to see the beauty of love as it was made to be”

The purpose of Love is to find a partner we can grow with, through the barriers that keep love at bay, to the centre of the universe that exists inside of us all […] We must work to find God, not to find men. Women must stop trying to be good enough, except for God […] We learn from God that we’re absolutely glorious–in his image, for his sake.

Ultimately, we learn to stop trying so hard. We no longer try to get a guy when we remember we’re only here to bless him. There is a difference between getting a partner and attracting a partner. Getting implies that our hooks work; attracting means that our light is bright and appears like a beacon to one who is meant to see it. When we try to get a partner, we increase our chances of getting the wrong one. Yes, we can hook one perhaps, but a hook in him is a hook in us. We either end up neurotically obsessed, or he figures out it’s a hook and does his own casting off.

[…] Surrender of the partner obsession is a great release and allows much greater room for real love to enter. Be friends with a person. Don’t underestimate the grace of true friendship.

–from A Woman’s Worth, Marianne Williamson. Random House Publishing Group, 1993.